Women often wonder where all the good men have gone. They wonder where chivalry has disappeared to and why men stopped doing the little things like opening the door for women or pulling out the chair when seating for a meal.
As women have changed and become more independent though, men have changed as well. But the truth that people want to know is why have men changed the way that they date? Here are some of the biggest reasons why:
Technology is something that most of us feel that we cannot live without. We use it for everything we do from searching things online to even dating. With there being so many dating websites, online dating is easy now. There are websites that are for farmers, lesbians, single-parents, sex and more.
Then, if you are in a relationship and it doesn’t pan out like you hope, you can use technology to just find someone else. Our world has changed from a place where people looked down on dating apps to almost everyone having dating apps on their phone or at least have tried them.
Another change though is that people can talk to each other, and you can talk to multiple people at one time. It seems that life is so hard to fit extra things in that it is hard to even find time to do in-person dating.
But, once you get comfortable with each other online, the dating part later seems to come easy.
Sex, Sex and More Sex
Tinder is one of the ways that sex can happen. People can use this app in order to meet women that will come to their house and will massage them or give them a booty call. This allows men to have the sex that they want without having to pay for a date or to take time to get to know someone.
Even though this doesn’t seem exciting to women, sometimes men see things differently. Guys don’t have to have love to have sex, and this can become something normal for them.
Women Pay for Their Own Stuff
Men used to always make sure that they would buy women drinks or buy the meal when taking someone out but since feminism has become such a big fight, men have stopped doing that so much.
Instead of flirting and buying drinks and risking looking like a womanizer, men will often just sit around and drink their own drinks while letting the women do their own thing.
Men and women alike are busy. It seems that there used to be times to just sit around and get bored but now no one even has time to get bored anymore.
Even in the dating and marriage life, women used to want to get pregnant when they were in their 20’s and now they don’t want to take time to be parents until their mid-30’s when they will finally start settling down and planning a family.
This busy life we have causes us to not waste our time on love and to skip the dating scene almost completely. Men will tell themselves it’s not okay to date but just to finish up what they have to do before they decide to settle down.
Often times because of this, men miss out on getting married and having the family that their parents and grandparents had.
Laziness in Love
In the past, men would get all dressed up in suits, fix their hair, buy some nice cologne and do what they could to look handsome and to sway the women. Now, men don’t want to put the effort into looking good.
They want women to notice them but they can get this attention different places such as the gym or the park or even online. This makes it to the point where they don’t have to put in an effort and they can be lazy in love.
The culture now of hooking up is a big thing and this means that you don’t have to put in the effort to sway someone or to romance them like women demanded in the past.
Dating Isn’t a Fine Line
Dating isn’t the same as it used to be and with all of the different apps and the different kinds of relationships, men don’t know if they are even dating anymore. They wonder if they are just having a fling or if they are actually in a relationship.
People don’t know if they are actually dating now and this happened because people don’t actually start at the beginning by defining what a relationship is. They take whatever relationship they are in and they call it casual and then no one steps up to ask questions as to what that means.
Single and Mingle
Getting married and having children was a big thing in the past but now being single is normal. People have the choice if they want to date, be serious, be in a fling relationship or if they just want to be single and mingle.
Everyone has the choice if they want to settle down or if they want to have children or if they don’t want to do any of it. They spend more time finding out about who they are then finding out about the opposite sex, missing opportunities along the way.
As love passes them by, they don’t even realize that they are missing anything because being single has so many perks.
How to Go on a Date
Here are some ways that you can get your guy out on a date and bring romance back to life:
- Ask them: You can ask a guy or a girl that you like on a real date. This doesn’t have to be a booty call but a real, tried and true effort. If they say no, move on to someone else because there are plenty of single people in the world.
- Have manners: Make sure that you are using your manners. If you are a guy, open the door for the lady, pull out her chair and do something that makes her feel important. Ladies, make sure that you put your phone down and pay attention to your date.
- Break the dating rules: Dates are different than they were in the past but bring that past dating back. Offer to pay for your date, get an uber so no one has to drive, organize a romantic date and put effort into it and do whatever it takes to get to know the other person.
- Call them: Instead of texting and asking someone out, call them on the phone. This can encourage the laziness of dating to be put on the back burner. If he wants to date you or if she wants to go, she will answer the call.
- Be creative: Take your person out on a creative date. Do things you both enjoy such as going bowling, going on a bike ride, taking an art class together or yoga. Do different things and learn about each other to see if you click.
- Be romantic: Don’t stop being romantic. Surprise your date, give them a gift, do a weekend away or just take time to commit to your time with your date.
Talk to Someone
If you need help with your date, talking to a relationship coach can help you. They can help to get you past the difficulties of dating and help you to have advice for your own personal situation.
Even though things have changed, our current situation with hooking up has seemed to have gotten out of control. Dating from the couch or with your jogging pants on is a thing that is normal now and even if you don’t like it, chances are you still do it.
Technology is a big reason that there is a problem because it gives both girls and guys chances to date but without the chase. It’s time to bring back romance and to get more out of dating.