Stop Making Them Talk to You
4 min readYou should never try to make someone talk to you because this can be hurtful to your mental health. Talking to someone should be their choice and when you get a chance to talk to someone, you should see it as a gift.
You need to think about when you have to talk to someone that you don’t want to. When you are trying to force someone to talk to you, it can make them feel bad. They might want to leave you alone and not have to share things with you. Even people that are close to you, if they don’t want to talk to you, this is their choice.
Understanding Relationships
A relationship means that someone is giving and taking. This should never be one sided. If you are in a romantic relationship, you should work towards the same kind of goals such as being close and loving each other. Being in a family or friend relationship means that you would work together easily and understand each other.
When you love someone, you try to help them and to meet their needs. This is what a relationship is. But, the truth is, both you and the other person get a say in what happens in the relationship, not just you.
Forcing People to Do What You Want
You might try to make someone talk to you and this can mean that you are taking advantage of them. This can be hurtful for their mental health and even for yours. A person that is made to talk to you might not like this if they have bad social skills.
Notice how the person is reacting to you. If they don’t want to talk to you, this could be because they are shy or because they need space. They might be depressed or they might have some other mental health issue that makes them not want to talk to you.
When someone doesn’t talk to you, this might not even be about you, but it could be about their own feelings. Pay attention to how they are responding to you. Forcing them to talk to you might seem normal to you but it could cause them to hate you.
This might also make them relive their abuse. Sometimes people that have been abused have been forced to do things they don’t want to do. You are not someone that has the right to make someone do something when they don’t feel right about it.
Don’t Make Anyone Do Things for you
Adults should not make someone feel that they have to spend time with them. If you tell your friend that they have to spend a certain amount of time with you or you won’t be their friend, this is not being a friend. Threatening them to be with you instead of letting them do what they need to do is wrong.
You wouldn’t want them to come to you unless they wanted to be around you. Make sure that you are being kind and that you are listening to their own feelings. They will come to you if they want to so don’t try to make them.
Don’t Make People Listen to You
You should not try to make people listen to you if they don’t want to. Even if you are married, a partner might not want to listen and respond to you all the time. Sometimes people just need time to be quiet. When you feel disrespected because of them being quiet, talk to them but chances are they just need some time alone.
Don’t Make Someone Love You
You cannot make someone love you or to fall for you. Even if you try to make someone give you attention, it doesn’t mean that they will love you. Here are some signs that you are trying to force someone to love you:
- They don’t respect you.
- You have different values and goals.
- Things always feel awkward.
- You act differently depending on where you are.
- You feel affectionate when other people are around.
- You always are putting on a show.
- You have no trust.
- You like the idea of the relationship more than you like your partner.
- You argue a lot.
Do Something Different
You don’t need to try to force people into spending time with you or giving you attention. The best thing that you can do is to be kind and to be who you are. A person that wants to talk to you and know you better will come to you. Give them a chance to be who they are.
If you are in a relationship that isn’t romantic, if someone doesn’t want to talk to you, give them that. Don’t make them do what they don’t want to do. Find out if they need help and be there for them but also keep boundaries.
People that have mental health problems might have a hard time communicating and opening up. They might not be able to open up to you and this is okay. Don’t try to force them but just be patient. You can try to let things happen naturally.
Final Thoughts
You cannot make someone fall in love with you. Don’t try to force them to love you or force them to be there for you. Show your love and be kind but don’t try to make people be who you want them to be.
There are things that you can do to make someone attracted to you and when it comes to being in a relationship, you need to not force things but step back and see where things go. If they don’t love you, let them go and know that not everything is going to be about you.